“Take in account each and every moment, Because time will never stop for your consent.”

-excerpt from Time Never Stops by Shubham Goel

2020 is quite literary hours away, so here are my 10 lessons learned from this decade:

And I have been between smiles and tears for the past several weeks. Anyone else with me on this? To think of all that has happened over the last ten years, all that was overcome, achieved, lived, and earned, and all things learned the hard way. What a decade!

  1. Love who you want – My husband and I have been together (not married, but together) for 10 years, this entire past decade!! It sounds crazy when I say it, but I love it! We’ve stayed together through me finishing college a state away, finishing grad school on the other side of the world, fours moves, two apartments, two houses, two dogs, countless cuddles, hugs and kisses… you get the picture. He’s my man, my rock, and without question, my best friend. When you know you love someone and they love you, stick it out!
  2. Travel when you can – You never know when you’re going to be able to visit new places or return to old stomping grounds. Live while you are there and experience all that you can! Take the day trips to little known villages. Meet new people. Eat new things. Ride the bus instead of the subway. You never know what the future holds, so be present and explore!
  3. Growth is hard – Wanting to be better is an admirable quality, and one that not as many people have as I thought. Wanting to be a better wife, friend, daughter, momma to your (fur) babies, teacher, etc. is easy, it’s the doing that is hard! Growth is uncomfortable. Growth means doing things that are not yet a habit. Form new habits! Be better! Even if it is at the rate of 1% better each day.
  4. Failing is fine… as long as you fail forwards – Failing is inevitable. Failing helps you learn. Failing makes you stronger and more resilient. Failure allows you to discover things about yourself and others you didn’t know and wouldn’t have otherwise.
  5. Outgrowing “friends” is okay – I hesitate to say this is normal, but it probably is. It’s okay to outgrow people who do not want to grow with you. It’s okay to outgrow people who do not support your growth. Friends will want you to succeed and support you in that endeavor.
  6. You are the average of the 5 people with whom you spend the most time – There’s just no way around it. “Birds of a feather flock together.” – English proverb. “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.” – Spanish proverb. “When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.” – Japanese proverb.
  7. Health is Wealth – I felt my best when I was eating vegan 99% of the time and marathon training. I put my physical health first when I was in an extreme amount of emotional and mental turmoil, and thank God I did. When I began to take care of myself first, all of me was healed.
  8. Kindness is Key – In a world so filled with hate, animosity and angst, be kind. Be gentle. Listen to those who need to speak. Rather than jumping to conclusions, be patient with others (and yourself).
  9. Be Gracious – Be thoughtful. Be wise with your words. Be kind with your deeds. Be slow to take credit. Share your time and attention with those in need. Be an example for others. Be the person who you wish others would look to for guidance and support.
  10. Have Specific Dreams – This I learned from The Last Lecture, which brought me to tears and opened my eyes and heart. Be specific! Be specific about your goals. Be specific about what you want to experience. Be specific about who you want to be with. Be specific about what you TRULY value. If you are not specific and work towards a narrow vision, mission, or goal, you will not achieve what you want, when you want or how you want.

Happy New Year and Happy New Decade!