Dear subconscious mind, why are you SO anxious? I’ve been breathing deeply, letting thoughts go, and even meditating for the first time in a long time. And what do I get for it? A nightmare… about GRAD SCHOOL.
Episode #2 – No Escape!
This nightmare was set on the campus of some consciously unknown-to-me university. Big block buildings and brutalist architecture abounds. It’s a very eery campus. Every building is dark green and all the entryways are a dark brown. There’s not a single light coming from any window. I’m running through campus like a mad woman trying to find the building my admin course is in, but nothing is labeled and I’m late.
I enter some building and it is CREEPY. Dark hallways, again with this eery feeling, almost no light, and none of the classrooms are open. I go up a stairwell and it opens into a computer lab. Everyone is seated and the only space left is smack dab in the middle of the lab. So, I oh-so unsuccessfully make my way to the seat (bag hitting people’s heads, lots of “excuse me, sorry, thank you, sorry”). I sit down, and it’s the WRONG CLASS.
The professor lecturing is a tiny woman straight out of the 1940s, but looks very very similar to my Research Design professor from last semester – she’s wearing a long skirt, smart jacket, and she is very tense looking. I can’t remember what she was lecturing about, but I remember feeling overwhelmed by the topic.
I go to get up now that I’ve realized my mistake, and the professor turns to me and yells, “ONE BATHROOM BREAK. THAT IS IT! LEAVE YOUR THINGS.” I was so embarrassed that I did exactly what she said. When I got to the door, there was a security guard ready to guide me. Instead of walking to the bathroom, we go to an auditorium. [Dreams are weird, y’all.]
I am escorted into the auditorium and there are several stairwells that lead VERY high up, so high that I can’t see where they end. The security guard motions me to a stairwell. I read a sign posted at the entrance of the stairwell, “Male bathrooms level 10. Female bathrooms level 16.” (Which is just awful because not only do we have to wait longer on average for a stall, but now I have to walk up 6 more flights?!)
I get all the way to level 16, and there’s another sign, “Bathrooms out of order. Go to level 30.” LEVEL 30?!? You’ve got to be kidding me… and so I troop on up those stairs. At a certain point the stairs end, and I start walking on a thing path around the top of the auditorium covered in roofing shingles. I open a door at the end of the path and I’m in a new classroom.
The professor in this room is much nicer. She smiles, points to a chair and asks me to sit. I join some other women at a cafeteria-style table. The professor floats around the room and I realize that she is wearing a very large pair of headphones with a very large microphone. And then I wake up.
My first two thoughts?! 1) I think I need to go to the bathroom, and 2) I should really get a microphone for this year.
I guess I’m anxious about being in the “right” classes this year. Everything is online for grad school, so I won’t have to physically be finding my way, but I wonder if I am nervous about classes starting in general.
Also, I should drink less water right before bed so that I’m not in search of a bathroom during class time 🙂